Many foundational issues in quantum mechanics frustrate the experts and keep them up at night. Unfortunately, when these concepts reach the greater public, they are often misrepresented and oversimplified. I want to share with you some bewildering tales of quantum mechanics, unabridged, straight from the source. In this talk: The measurement problem, delayed-choice erasure, interaction-free measurements, non-locality, non-contextuality. This is not the usual cat-in-the-box talk. Get ready for the real s**t!